Well, at least the fever hasn't robbed you of your sense of humor. That would be a real tragedy, considering how little of it you have left.
[ even so, between the glaze in his eyes and the syrup slur of his voice, it's clear that diluc's nowhere near his right mind, the fever likely fogging his reality until he no longer remembers that what he holds in his arms is no treasured companion but a viper poised to strike. only the cruelest of monsters would let this joke play out any further; what kaeya needs to do now is to get him out. out of his bed, out of his apartment, out into the hands of someone who actually knows what they're doing and won't lead to any further regrets come morning.
it should be easy. he's always both prided and loathed himself for his ability to detach from any given situation, to shield himself with a smile and let his words carry away whatever semblance of sentiment he might have. it should be easy to simply pull away from the circle of diluc's arms, to laugh it off as another embarrassing story he'll tell in the future, to escape this pretense at intimacy that threatens to choke him with all the weight of memories long aged to dust. it should be easy...and yet when diluc turns the flush of his cheek into his hand, all the steel of kaeya's prized self-control melts away like so much frost beneath the sun. when diluc presses down on his shoulders, he can only helplessly follow, a star dropping in free-fall to the inescapable gravity of the sun.
ah. of course it wouldn't be easy. somehow he's forgotten who he really is, that he's selfish, selfish, selfish to the core. ]
If you want someone quiet, you should let me take you to Barbara.
[ 'let' - as if diluc in this state could possibly stop anything kaeya wanted to do, as if he's ever needed permission to interfere in his life. it's just another excuse, another way to deflect the blame, another way to manipulate the narrative so that this - taking advantage of a sick man to play out a pale mockery of the only thing he's ever truly wanted - can somehow not be entirely his fault when reality sets back in. ]
no subject
[ even so, between the glaze in his eyes and the syrup slur of his voice, it's clear that diluc's nowhere near his right mind, the fever likely fogging his reality until he no longer remembers that what he holds in his arms is no treasured companion but a viper poised to strike. only the cruelest of monsters would let this joke play out any further; what kaeya needs to do now is to get him out. out of his bed, out of his apartment, out into the hands of someone who actually knows what they're doing and won't lead to any further regrets come morning.
it should be easy. he's always both prided and loathed himself for his ability to detach from any given situation, to shield himself with a smile and let his words carry away whatever semblance of sentiment he might have. it should be easy to simply pull away from the circle of diluc's arms, to laugh it off as another embarrassing story he'll tell in the future, to escape this pretense at intimacy that threatens to choke him with all the weight of memories long aged to dust. it should be easy...and yet when diluc turns the flush of his cheek into his hand, all the steel of kaeya's prized self-control melts away like so much frost beneath the sun. when diluc presses down on his shoulders, he can only helplessly follow, a star dropping in free-fall to the inescapable gravity of the sun.
ah. of course it wouldn't be easy. somehow he's forgotten who he really is, that he's selfish, selfish, selfish to the core. ]
If you want someone quiet, you should let me take you to Barbara.
[ 'let' - as if diluc in this state could possibly stop anything kaeya wanted to do, as if he's ever needed permission to interfere in his life. it's just another excuse, another way to deflect the blame, another way to manipulate the narrative so that this - taking advantage of a sick man to play out a pale mockery of the only thing he's ever truly wanted - can somehow not be entirely his fault when reality sets back in. ]